Dear Apple inc.

Dear Apple Inc.

Thanks for the e-mails through December reminding me to buy various Apple products as Christmas presents for my loved ones. Had you been advertising iPod shuffles, Nanos or accessories for Apple products at a reasonable price, I might not have been so keen to immediately delete your e-mails. However, you thought it perfectly appropriate to remind me to buy iPads for my loved ones. A £500 gift. How about a Macbook pro? Only a grand!

And yet the only things you know about me, are that I bought my laptop from you four years ago in your refurbished section to reduce the cost to myself and I have bought nothing from you since then. I have only been in touch with you to have my laptop repaired a number of times because of random faults and the fact that your magnetic power supply cables frequently melt and become a fire hazard. My laptop died this year, only four years old. By any standards, thats pretty shit for eight hundred pounds.

Thanks for e-mailing me today, reminding me, only 4 days after Christmas, where I bought nothing from you, that I should "treat myself" to an iPad. Even my Dad knows that the iPad is a gimmicky, expensive, underpowered toy.

Merry Christmas.

Dan