This post seems to be mostly about Onsind.

At the very start of 2008 I think, I posted about our band on a website, trying to get people to listen to us and managed to attract the usual semi-cynical replies from people that hadn't listened to our band telling me that no-one was interested in our Music.No problem really, its all you can expect from pushing your band on people to a degree and its why I've never been comfortable about doing anything to promote what we are doing beyond playing shows, giving away Cd's and trying to keep our various online presences up to date for anyone that is interested in us. Still, someone DID listen, and they liked us, and they offered us our first show beyond 2 hours drive from our house. Probably our first real show outside London really. JC at Discount Horse records went as far as to book us a headline slot with Onsind in Durham as well as the possibility of playing a house party and another gig on our last day. It was our first real trip for a show. I wouldn't call it a tour, but 3 shows up north in one long-weekend was beyond our expectations at the time and I guess it was our first real experience of the hospitality that DIY punk can offer. Not only did we get paid for the show, people paid for our free Cd's, we got fed, taken on a tour of the Durham Cathedral, played a fun house party and got squeezed onto a daytime show (although this show was beyond odd and the fairly large crowd that were in attendance almost entirely consisted of people in bands who were either about to play, or who had already played). I remember feeling like we had conquered the world on the 7 hour drive home that Sunday and I have always been excited to pass through and see everyone again.

This weekend we loaded up the car with tents, sleeping bags and gear and headed back up north for a weekend festival called Full Throttle where we would spend the weekend with our northern friends. The EIGHT HOUR DRIVE would have killed us off easily had we not been staying with Will, who took us on a refreshing walk with his Dog around Sedgefield as soon as we arrived and the hours of driving seemed to drop off us all quickly (except Ema, who slept almost all the way there). Thanks Will, your hospitality shall go down in the permanent records of Apologies, I have none as being 5 star.

The festival was largely made up of bands I had never heard of and the attendance was mostly people i didn't know - not a problem at all. On checking the bands prior to leaving, I accepted that the line up wasn't made up of too many bands that i would ever love but again, not a problem, I was looking forward to spending time with everyone, watching friends play and wandering between tents in case I caught anything I liked. We were to play the main stage at 4pm - its a big tent with a smallish stage and I remembered playing it last year and struggling to get into the set. The barrier in front of me and huge open, well-lit space made playing feel awkward. It was the same this year so it was hard not to come away disappointed. Its hard to create a good atmosphere when you are dwarfed by a PA, barrier, bright sunlight and 1/10th full tent and i started drinking pretty heavily as soon as we finished. Our friends mostly played in the smaller tents late at night and I couldn't help but feel jealous that we weren't playing the same spaces at the same times. Disappointments like that are hard to shake and are compounded by a sense of distaste for my own self-pity when maybe I should be thankful I even got to play and that people took the time to listen. The rest of the weekend was largely made up of sitting about talking shit and watching bands, some that I liked and some that I didn't. I think the acoustic tent was the premier tent of the weekend for me, it was small and busy and was the last tent playing each night. I barely got through the last night after bombing out on Gin but i recovered in time to see Onsind give probably the performance of the weekend. It was literally amazing. It was really good to end the weekend on such a brilliant set and I think it helped to correct the tiny part of me that didn't want to let go of my own disappointment - it really can be pot-luck as to when you get an awesome show or poor show, but it also helped to focus my own mind on what i can do to get through the more difficult shows. It rained that night and the field turned into the muddy bog that it had promised to do just a few nights before, like the clouds could finally relax. I felt relieved that the rain had held off this long and so I stuffed my new, but muddy tent back into into its too-small bag and got back into the car for the drive home. I am still wearing the mud stained shoes I spent the weekend in - I should buy new ones really, these will never feel the same again but I own no shoes at all other than these. I would love to post pictures of the weekend, but Ema lost her camera on the first night (if anyone was in the Bishop Aukland, Lower Wham area of Butterknowle at the weekend and found a canon Ixus, please let me know!).